Everyone goes through 3 phases when they’re trying to lose weight and gain muscles in the gym.
- I’m not doing anything
- I’m going to the gym but I need motivation
- I’m addicted to lifting weight
Which phase do you fall into?
Understand that, lifting weight is a habit for life. Never give up – you will get there eventually. It’s never too late to start because the time will past by anyways. It’s your god given rights to be strong and handsome as fuck or be a nasty fat slob.
The choice is yours alone.
Phase 1: I’m not doing anything
Why bother lifting weights? It’s stupid. It’s for muscle heads. I’m a superior gentleman who doesn’t need the gym. Actually I just want to watch TV. I don’t want to waste my life lifting weights, it’s stupid.
Besides, what’s the point of lifting anyways? If you stop lifting weights, your muscles would shrink. And I’m perfectly happy being who I am, I don’t need to people to tell me to hit the gym. Fuck them, I live my life how I want to.
Oh shit. My belly! It looks like I’m 8 months pregnant, plus I got bitch tits. My man bra size is Cup D. The doctor says my blood pressure is high and I need to exercise or else I’m going to die young.
My knees hurt when I walk up the stairs. I run out of breathe walking across the parking lot, so I park in the handicap spot (even ought I don’t have a handicap permit)
I suppose I shouldn’t be eating burgers and drinking coke cola every day. I guess it’s time to hit the gym and run but I’m not sure how … I desperately need help getting fit. I hope it isn’t too late, starting at this age.
How do you even lift weight? What is the proper form? How do I dead lift and squat? Please somebody teach me. Perhaps I’ll go on youtube or hire a personal trainer. Yeah, that’s it.
This is hard but I will to sign up for the gym. I’m going to drive there right now and pay 1 year in advance because, my god, I’m going to lift weight and look good.
Instead of hating on muscle heads, I’m going to become one of them! It’s time to lift weight. Yeah buddy.
Phase 2: I’m going to the gym but I need to stay motivated
I’m reading men’s magazine for my work out. Apparently this workout called “8 weeks to a killer body” is, well, killer. I’m pretty excited!
But I need to motivate myself to work out. I’m going to buy myself some nice gym outfit, pre and post workout shakes and listen to motivational music to get my ass into the gym. This year is going to be different. I won’t be the fat man no more!
Today I learned that the fitness routine from Men Magazine is a piece of shit and that I should be doing Starting Strength by Mark Rippotoe.
By lifting heavy weights with the barbell, I will build muscles and burn fat. Nobody taught me this! My personal trainer tricked because he tells me I should be doing high rep, light weight. Hmmm.
I’m getting a bit stronger now and some muscles when I flex.
Feels good man.
I’m glad I signed up for the gym, even ought I didn’t have a clue what to do. I was misinformed at first but now I see the light.
My bitch tits are melting and my stomach is flattening. This is the greatest feeling in the world! I wished I started sooner.
To get some validation from strangers and to motivate myself, I post twitter and facebook updates: “just finished going to the gym!” and pictures of my biceps. I know it’s attention whoring but I need validations to motivate myself.
Every time I go to the gym, it’s a battle of will power. I need to motivate myself to lift weight, otherwise I just want to sit on the couch and watch TV.
I hope some day I can go to the gym without motivating myself.
Phase 3: I’m addicted to going to the gym
This is my 9th month going to the gym consistently.
It feels good to squat twice my body weight. It feels good to dead lift with proper form.
Strangely enough, it feels good to be sore the next day. I don’t need to motivate to hit the gym anymore – it just comes naturally, like taking a shit or drinking water.
The callous on my hands is proof of the hard work. I don’t need to wear gloves because I’m not a pussy.
I drink whey protein at home and not in between reps. I don’t wear t-shirts with motivational sayings anymore – now that I look back, I cringed to myself.
It has been 3 years since I first joined the gym and going to the gym consistently.
People come and go but I remain here in the corner, doing bench press and squats. I’m the oak tree in this gym, rooted and firm.
College kids join the gym during summer time. Middle age men walk on the treadmill in the morning before going to work. Bored stay at home moms do their treadmills walks in the afternoon.
Year after year, I am here in this gym. Doing squats, dead lifts, over head presses, bench press, barbell rows.
I glimpsed myself in the mirror the other day.
What was once a fat, sad man with a pregnant gut and bitch tits is now a monster, chiseled with muscles. Thick neck, gigantic arms and tree trunk legs. Men respect me and women admire me.
My mind used to rationalize that lifting weights is for muscle heads. But now I understand – it was just a sad excuse. An excuse that stemmed from fear, potential embarrassment and laziness.
I’m so glad I started lifting weight, many years ago …
Here’s the most simple weight lifting routine to gain huge muscles and lost fat
Not sure what exercise routine to follow? Do this.
Day One – Pull (Monday)
Deadlifts (conventional, sumo, snatch-grip,trap bar) – 5 sets x 5 reps
Rows (barbell, dumbbell, machine or t-bar) – 5 sets x 5 reps
Weighted Pull-Ups or Chins – 5 sets x 5 reps
Day Two – Push (Wednesday)
Flat, Incline, Dumbbell, or Machine Bench Press – 5×5
Military, Dumbbell or Machine Shoulder Press – 5×5
Dips or Close-Grip Bench – 5×5
Day Three – Legs (Friday)
Back or Front Squats or Leg Press – 5×5
Lunges, Split Squat, or Step-Ups – 5×5
Calf Raises – 3×10 reps
Why I like this routine: It’s minimalist. It’s focused on the important lifts that will make you gain muscle and become stronger. You can get fit just 3 hours a week at the gym.
Biggiest body building mistakes to watch out for
Fitness magazines will sell you un-necessary diet supplements.
Personal trainers will sell you complicated work out routines. Fitness stores will sell you “must have” gym clothes. Everything seems so complicated.
Nothing is further from the truth.
Lifting weights is simple. Focus on the compound exercises, lift heavy weights and eat a balanced diet. Lifting weights seems complicated because people try to sell you things.
However, there are some men who lifted weight for years, with little or mediocre results. Why? The problem is 3 folds: lack of time, effort, or shitty diet (or a combination)
Some men “breeze” through their gym session, lifting with bad form or not enough weight. They put in the hours into the gym but they’re not making progress.
Put at least 3 hours into the gym each week. Get proper sleep and eat well. Making muscle gains is guaranteed. Hiring a personal trainer with their convoluted routine is not necessary.
To have better lifting forms, simply watch tutorials on youtube or ask guys in for help (the scary body builder in the corner bench pressing 300 lbs? Majority of them are the nicest, most helpful people you’ll meet)
Think of lifting weights as a life long habit, much like masturbation or taking a shower.
You know you’re fit when you look at the mirror and staring back at you is a beast. Other men will respect and fear you, women will get their pussy wet at the sight of your chisel muscles.
You ready to hit the gym? I’m ready. See you there.