Noun: Self esteem – pride in oneself, self respect.
Self esteem is earned, not freely given. Everyone knows that, right? Yet clueless parents tell their loser kid “you’re a winner, buddy! It doesn’t matter if you came in 6th place, you’re a winner in my eyes.”
So let’s talk about building self esteem. Here’s how I did and I think it will work for you too.
Let’s dive right in …
Build self esteem by building your body
Self esteem is about self respect. If a person can’t respect his body, how is he respecting himself? People are naturally repulsed by fat people because it shows gluttony and sloth – all without saying a word …
The most basic, elementary way to build self esteem is building a stronger body. Respect your body, respect yourself. This means lifting weight. To take it a step further, do martial arts or combat sports (muay thai, judo, sambo, wrestling)
The foundation of self esteem should be lifting weight and doing combat sport. If you know you can physical defend yourself and you know you’re not to be fucked with, the high self esteem will be there.
High self esteem is earned through sweat and blood in the gym and dojo.
When I see a fat person, I see lack of self respect. I once had a talk with a woman who’s 42 years old husband was fat (we’re talking about pregnant gut, bitch tits) and she told me: “Well, maybe people’s priorities are different?”
Guess what? You only have one body, one life. Being obese comes with high blood pressure, heart problems, diabetes and knee joints problem.
I have a poker friend who was playing cards and fell into the floor clutching his fucking chest and he thought he was going to die because he had heart problems.
“Well, maybe people’s priorities are different?” Yeah, keep telling yourself that. People would rather be in denial then face the truth.
I rarely meet fat people who have high self esteem – more like a bravado to mask their insecurities.
** For the record, I have fat friends. If my fat friend calls me up to hit the gym with him, I’m more then happy to spot him while he bench press. I don’t try to lecture him on what to eat but would gladly give him advice if he asked.
The foundation to to building unbreakable self esteem is lifting weight and combat sport. This is what men should be doing as a life long hobby (as oppose to the middle aged man playing video game on a Friday night)
- Lift weight 3 times a week
- Take up combat sport like Muay Thai, Kyokushin Karate, Boxing etc
Build self esteem by building your mind
Reading a book is like injecting steroid into your mind. Reading a book is like having a conversation with the great minds in history. That’s why I recommend reading 25 minutes every day as a lifestyle.
What I thought when I read a biography of Miyamoto Musashi:
“The fuck, this guy is awesome. So you’re telling me he had a duel at age 13 where he beat someone over the head with a stick and the guy died? And then he went on to fight 4 wars and 48 duels? He sliced people in half and stuff. Maybe getting punch in the face isn’t so bad when I’m doing Muay Thai.”
Reading biographies is a great source of inspiration. “If he can do it, so can I” is a good mentality to adopt.
The average person reads 4-5 books a year – maybe – but most don’t read at all. Why bother reading a book when they can watch netflix and relax.
Reading a great book is a counter against bullshit media like social media and TV. Show me a man who watches 3 hours of TV every day and I’ll show you a fat man with an average bank account.
I haven’t watched cable TV for 11 years. I watch about 2 movies a year.
I rather take my girlfriend to a nice dinner or have sex in the beach (in the bush, no less) then watch a Hollywood movie with the same recycled fucking plot.
Read great books, have interesting conversations with above interesting people, write down your thoughts. That’s why I recommend keeping a journal.
- Read great books as a every day habit
- Have interesting conversation with interesting people
Dress like a boss
When you dress like a boss, people will treat you like a boss.
You don’t need to drop a ton of money on designer clothes or the latest fashion trend. Simply build yourself a minimalist wardrobe. Qualify over quantity and you’re good to go.
Every time you go out, dress like a boss. You never know if you’re going to meet your future employer, business partners or love one. Dress good, smell good.
Try this yourself: dress like shit and dress like a boss. Go to the mall or the bank and notice how people react to you.
Once, a guy approached me in a college campus and offered me a job. “I like the way you dress, you look like you get stuff done.” he told me. He called me a week later but I never took the job offer.
I had approach women, smiled, made small talk and got their phone numbers without resorting to pick up lines or gimmicks.
- Buy clothes from Zara
- Dress like a boss every day even when you’re going to buy food
Avoid shit people
Toxic “friends” are better left behind – people who complain, people who excessively gossip, people who get nowhere in life.
Whenever there is a group of men together, there is always that “one guy” who feels the need to assert himself by putting others down. Insecure assholes are a dime a dozen.
Have a group of men who bring you up. Men who encourage and give you connections. These men are hard to find but they’re out there. When you find good men, keep then around for decades to come.
I saved hundreds or even thousands of hours of my life from drama because I don’t hang out with toxic people. If you’re doing it right, you should be turning down more invitations to hang out.
Great people are hard to find – perhaps 1 in 1,000 but don’t stop finding them.
If you like, you can join my inner circle.
- Find great men and be part of the group
- Avoid toxic people, especially men who put other men down to boost themselves
Go on adventures, travel abroad alone
I went to Japan by myself, twice. I stayed for 2 months, mostly drinking beer, making friends with new people and exploring Tokyo. I went to famous city called Kobe and ate Kobe beef (apparently, they feed the cow beer and massage it every night).
People don’t like traveling alone because they’re simply afraid of being alone. If you want to be above average, you must be willing to do what average people aren’t willing to do – this means traveling alone, meeting new people and having sex in funny positions.
My favorite adventure story is climbing a cliff with friends. We scaled the cliff and at one point, I thought I was going to die if I fell down (in fact, a couple years ago, someone did died falling off the cliff)
(It’s a nice, long fall)
I really do think traveling abroad – alone – is the best type of adventure. I recommend you do it once.
Travel to a new big city. For example, I traveled to Montreal many times, which is the Las Vegas of Canada There are strip clubs and drunk French people every where. I stayed in Montreal for an accumulated 9 months and had sex with tourists in funny positions.
- Travel abroad alone
- Visit another major city in your country, alone or with friends
Build something great
Build something great that you can be proud of. Build your body, build a skill set, build something to help other people. I recommend you start your own blog and document your greatness.
At the end of the day, it’s about helping other people. I pop a boner when I think of Elon Musk (no homo) because he is helping mankind in a massive scale (the guy popularized electric cars, build a gigawatt factory to make batteries more affordable and is famous for SpaceX – a company that is planning to colonize Mars with 500,000 people … what the fuck man)
The more you help people, the more you build your self esteem. I get emails from people all over the world “Hey Max, thanks for the blog man, it helped me so much” etc. This is why I prepaid BecomeUberHuman.com domain for 10 years – I will be releasing 1 blog post a week, for the next 10 years.
A blog is just a platform to influence to people. And the best way to influence people is to inspire them (Hitler did a very good job at inspiring people through his speeches)
I think building a business that advances humanity forwards is the ultimate test of creating something great. It can be big like creating an electric car company or something smaller scale like creating a boot camp that teaches men “success” with women.
What’s the difference between a professional and an amateur? The professional gets paid. Therefore a company is about value creation.
- Create something awesome, if it’s a company, even better.
That’s enough rambling for this week.
See you next Thursday,